yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
