You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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