dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
