i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Success! We fucked roommates!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize