I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
