I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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