I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
