I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
