At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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