It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
ttyl tear gas
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i think my cat just said my name.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
