3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My sheets look like a crime scene.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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