it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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