Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
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I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
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Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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