Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
