garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
