we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
