My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
