Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
