is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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