i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
