dude i'm inner monologue high
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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