I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
