why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
