feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
