i would punch a child for taco bell
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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