i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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