careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The power of my boobs compel you
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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