OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
