Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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