Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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