i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
