Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
