I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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