Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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