You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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