gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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