Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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