Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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