Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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