"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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