the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
