no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
