And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So many bounce houses so little time
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
