i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Randomize
