Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
