I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
