We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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