Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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