So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
