Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
