What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm always down for nudity.
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