Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
