You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
