Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
