I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
