its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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